Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes – I’ve Seen Scarier in a Count Choclua Commercial

Now if you’re anything like me you watch regularly the Animal Planet documentary show, Finding Bigfoot. And if you don’t watch that show, what else have you been doing with your Sunday evenings?

Oh you watch, regular television… I guess… that’s cool too.

Regardless, Bigfoot for some reason has become a more prevalent mainstream icon than he has been previously, and I attribute it to that show. Sadly this movie is nothing like that.

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Terminator Genisys – This is Worse Than Fanfic

The Terminator movies, or as I should actually say: the first two Terminator movies, are some of my favorite action movies- if not just my favorite movies of all time. When you think about sequels and how they’re usually never better than the original, you can thank Terminator 2 for blowing that idea out of the water by being the sequel to a move that every other movie should aspire to be.

But like all good things, even the Terminator franchise starts to overstay its welcome.

With the less than stellar Terminator 3, the pretty-good-but-a-little-weird-cause-Christian-Bale Terminator 4, and now we have the abysmal Terminator 5: Genisys. Not Genesis, Genisys. Yeah I don’t get it either.

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Dancer and the Dame – Another F-ing Dog Movie

Oh Pure Flix, what even are you?

Oh, sorry, a little back-story:

About a year ago I did a video review on a Pure Flix film called God’s Not Dead, a cinematic train-wreck I was unfortunate enough to subjugate myself to.

For those not familiar, God’s Not Dead told the story of a religious zealot college student who, after choosing not to deny his faith in front of his peers, attempts to convert his entire class to Christianity before his mean, atheist professor did the opposite. It also included roughly a dozen other cast of characters besides these two, and it was so wholly (not holy) confusing that it went down as possibly one of the worst film of all time for me- and no, it had nothing to do with the fact that it was a movie about faith, it was just terrible.

So I had always assumed Pure Flix was just some distribution company that made religious “lifetime movies” with a budget larger than even Lifetime Network would ever think of providing. I later learned that Pure Flix is actually just a digital distribution platform, much like Netflix or Hulu, and just like Netflix or Hulu they’re creating in-house entertainment to provide for subscribers.

While God’s Not Dead did see a theatrical release and its upcoming sequel God’s Not Dead 2: He is Surely Alive is also slated as such, there are those films that slip between the cracks and are unceremoniously spat out onto the front page of Pure Flix’s site. Dancer and The Dame is one of those films.

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Song of The South – Boring With a Side Dish of Racism

Written Movie Review

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-A. My oh my what’s no longer acceptable today.

This is a movie, a half animated, half live action children’s story, that features a lovable bear, a fox, and a rabbit; two little children and their dog; and a smiling cast of lovable, black-skinned, slaves.

In a Disney film.

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Repost – Avengers: Age of Ultron Review

Originally posted on May 11th, 2015 found here.

To start the blog off I’m going to bring in content from the main site to give you an idea as to what I’ll mostly be posting (hopefully).

A Swholli Written Review

So, seeing as this film is still in theaters but is obviously a big topic of the summer, I’ve decided to do mini reviews in writing in order to give myself an outlet on film without needing to take the time to produce a video (videos take time, writing them do not).

So, let’s talk about Ultron. Warning spoilers ahead!

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