Insidious – Not Even A Little Spooky

Apologies in advanced for the really short post this week. I was busy with other projects and life issues so I wasn’t able to watch any terrible movies to angrily review. This kind of post won’t happen often as it doesn’t really showcase any writing (though technically I did write the script for the video, so if you pretend this week its just me reading my post out loud to you, it’ll be the same thing).

So this week, since I decided to post one of my older videos, I picked one I’m really proud of. Insidious, if you don’t remember, is that weird horror movie series that was sort of in the forefront of everyone’s minds for about three months, then completely went away.

At the time, everyone thought this movie was the scariest thing they’d ever seen. But then it just sort of disappeared, even as they were making a second one. I remembered thinking the movie was poop.

So with October right around the corner (and stores are already putting up Halloween decorations), I figured I’d share with you my Insidious 1 and 2 video to properly get into the season.

Next week I’ll have a full fledged written review up again. I just need to see some crappy movies in the meantime.

Dancer and the Dame – Another F-ing Dog Movie

Oh Pure Flix, what even are you?

Oh, sorry, a little back-story:

About a year ago I did a video review on a Pure Flix film called God’s Not Dead, a cinematic train-wreck I was unfortunate enough to subjugate myself to.

For those not familiar, God’s Not Dead told the story of a religious zealot college student who, after choosing not to deny his faith in front of his peers, attempts to convert his entire class to Christianity before his mean, atheist professor did the opposite. It also included roughly a dozen other cast of characters besides these two, and it was so wholly (not holy) confusing that it went down as possibly one of the worst film of all time for me- and no, it had nothing to do with the fact that it was a movie about faith, it was just terrible.

So I had always assumed Pure Flix was just some distribution company that made religious “lifetime movies” with a budget larger than even Lifetime Network would ever think of providing. I later learned that Pure Flix is actually just a digital distribution platform, much like Netflix or Hulu, and just like Netflix or Hulu they’re creating in-house entertainment to provide for subscribers.

While God’s Not Dead did see a theatrical release and its upcoming sequel God’s Not Dead 2: He is Surely Alive is also slated as such, there are those films that slip between the cracks and are unceremoniously spat out onto the front page of Pure Flix’s site. Dancer and The Dame is one of those films.

Continue reading Dancer and the Dame – Another F-ing Dog Movie

Song of The South – Boring With a Side Dish of Racism

Written Movie Review

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-A. My oh my what’s no longer acceptable today.

This is a movie, a half animated, half live action children’s story, that features a lovable bear, a fox, and a rabbit; two little children and their dog; and a smiling cast of lovable, black-skinned, slaves.

In a Disney film.

Continue reading Song of The South – Boring With a Side Dish of Racism

Metal Gear Solid: Day One Reaction

Written Game Review

So, I pre-ordered Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain and it finally arrived- and I’ve gotta say, I was and still am ecstatic to finish this game.

First and foremost, I have not finished the game yet. This is not a review that will contain story- or spoilers. I have barely been past the first mission (I was at work all day yesterday, so I didn’t get to play until 9pm). But I still want to talk about this game and what I like and don’t like. So, after the break, let’s talk about Metal Gear.

Continue reading Metal Gear Solid: Day One Reaction